The Fat Girl and the Plane

I fly home to see my family for a week in the summer and a week in the winter.  I’ve made this trip 5 times for a total of 10 plane rides. I don’t usually have much of  a problem with planes. I’ve flown AirTran once and their seatbelts were a little snug and their seats a little narrow but they also have the distinction of being the only airline to have tray tables that actually go all the way down.

Delta, who I usually fly with, their tray tables get about a two-thirds of the way down before hitting the tops of my thighs and being useless.  But I’ve never had a problem with their seats. Until now.

I don’t know if it’s because I somehow found myself on  a leg of one of those weenie connector flights or if it was the food coma I seemed to eat my way into on a daily basis (in between loads of shopping) while at home or what, but this time I barely fit.

If I were a little less stubborn I might have asked for a belt extendor, but it’s amazing what being seated next to a scrawny thing of  a woman will do for the resolve.  I sucked in my gut and tugged on that belt until it felt like I was stretching the material with my own brute strength and it took a few tries, dammit, I got that mother buckled. *

The weird thing is once it was buckled, it was really comfortable. It was like the perfect length for the part of me it was covering.  So, when I got home, I sat down in an armless chair and tried to figure out where the discrepency between getting it fastened and wearing it came in, and I determined this:

It’s not that the belt didn’t fit, it’s just that I am so…thick, I guess, that I actually had to try to fasten it higher than it would normally sit because that’s where my arms would go.

In short, if I get any fatter, I essentially will be a like a T-Rex with my tiny useless arms.  If that’s not an inspiration, I don’t know what is.

Oh, and also? I brought the flu back with me.  I think it’s mostly cleared up now, but I’ve spent the last several days lying around like a lump.  But I’ve probably drank more water in the last two weeks than I’ve drank in the last 2 months, so that’s good I guess.

*Twice, actually, because shortly after I got buckled in, I realized that my cell phone was on in my bag overhead.  I would have just let it go but I couldn’t quite quell my fear of dying in a fiery crash because the $20 phone I got at Walmart flumoxed an airplane.



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